Losing Bob four years ago left a huge gap in my life. He had a heart attack when he had an accident after tripping on a kerb. The paramedics took him to hospital and he was put on a life support machine.
I phoned his daughter and the consultant suggested to her that the decision was made to switch off his life support. If he’d survived he would have been paralysed from the neck down. He couldn’t have coped with that.
- Why you should never be too polite to talk about death
- I was so unconfident I struggled to buy a ticket on the Underground
I have wonderful memories, of course. I miss being able to do the things I used to do with Bob. We loved travelling and visited Switzerland, Spain, America, Germany, and east Africa where he used to work as a civil engineer. Bob also loved ballet and was very interested in the theatre, including Shakespeare.
Bob’s daughter, Sarah, still comes from Kent to see me, so I have a connection with him through her. She bought me some lovely irises the other day and looking at them now makes me realise there’s more to life than the life we know – looking at nature you see how life develops. Looking at life in this way helps you along.
Things have got better
Over the years since he died things have got better. I do believe there’s more to life than what we see. Some people are visionaries who look past the seen world.
I worked in show business all my working life and have worked on the stage. In London, I was in Oklahoma! and danced in Moulin Rouge. Both were quite successful which made me happy. I worked in most areas of the country. It was a wonderful life and having those memories has helped me a lot to keep going.
When you’re bereaved, you have to believe that there is more to life than this one. I am interested in the power of positive thinking, healing and meditation and I belong to a spiritual organisation that helps me. It has made a big difference to my attitude.
With this sort of help and counselling it’s wonderful to see people emerge so much stronger. Three quarters of the group is bereaved. Without this help, I can’t think what life would have been like.
I’ve only been with Independent Age for a short time. I have a lady who visits me and we talk. It’s lovely to have company and to discuss things with her. I always look forward to her coming to visit.
We would like to thank Ron’s family for allowing us to share his experience posthumously.