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Sometimes you can tell if a friend or relative is having a difficult time. But other times, you might not realise they’re experiencing problems with their mental health. If you think they’re struggling to cope, there are things you can do to help.
Mental health describes your emotional wellbeing – how you think and feel, and how you deal with everyday stresses.
Getting older doesn’t mean your friend or relative’s mental health will always get worse, but changes in their life might affect how they feel. They may not develop a mental health problem, but if they do, it can often go unnoticed.
Mental health problems can affect people in different ways. Each problem has different symptoms, but they can sometimes overlap. As a general guide, keep an eye out for:
Two common mental health problems for older people are depression and anxiety.
Look out for signs that they aren’t taking care of themselves, such as:
See our Depression page for more information.
Look out for signs that they’re feeling uneasy or nervous, such as:
See our Anxiety page for more information.
It's difficult to know exactly what someone else is feeling. Try to find out what might be troubling them and encourage them to talk to their GP. Don't try to diagnose the problem yourself.
If you think your older friend or relative is struggling with their mental health, there are some simple things you can do to help.
If you think someone is having suicidal feelings, they need help urgently. Without support, they could be at risk. Either you or they can speak to a GP, call NHS 111 or contact Samaritans.
If you think they’re in immediate danger of harming themselves, call 999.
A good first step is talking to them and finding out how they’re feeling. If they’re not ready to talk, don’t force them – just let them know you’re there when they need you. If you do talk, try to:
Read our Difficult conversations section for more advice on approaching sensitive topics.
Feeling better can take time, so it’s important to be patient with your friend or relative. Your role is to encourage them to take positive steps, without putting pressure on them. Consider trying to:
People with mental health problems can feel like they’re a burden, and people losing touch with them can reinforce that feeling. You could:
With the right treatment, most people experiencing a mental health problem can either get better or learn how to manage it. But it’s important to let them go at their own pace and make their own decisions as much as possible.
A mental health problem combined with other medical problems can be complicated. If you’re caring for someone, make sure:
Carers UK has a forum for people to talk about caring for someone with mental health problems. You can also find out about the practical, emotional and financial support available to help you in your caring role on our Support for carers pages.
Looking after someone else can be taxing and it can be especially difficult if you’ve experienced a mental health problem or feel vulnerable yourself. You can only support your friend or relative if you are feeling well enough, so make sure you're taking care of your own health as well.
There might be times when you need to protect your own mental health and encourage them to have certain conversations with someone else. This could be another friend or relative, a GP or a therapist. It could also be with a confidential helpline, such as Samaritans, or a local support group. Mind has information about support groups in your area. You can also call for advice on caring for your own wellbeing.
Visit Mind for more about helping someone else with their mental health.